Owhyee Here We Come

Well as of tomorrow I am off for an eight day Inflatable Kayaking trip down the Owyhee River. We are taking 5 adults and 10 students. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. I have never done anything like this. 8 days in the middle of nowhere. But this has defiantly been a year of firsts...so bring it on!!!

Thought Provoking

My friend posted this on her blog last night and I really enjoyed it. It made me think. Read it, think about it...let me know what you think.

Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.

We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.

Sir Francis Drake 1577

I need to be disturbed...What about you?

The Growth of Glory

So I have a little wager with my friend Kenny, here in Washington. Here is the deal. I have to grow my hair or glory as we like to refer to it. I have to grow my hair to my shoulders and in return he is growing a beard and cooking me dinner. I thought that it was a decent wager and thought that I would give you all some updates on the process. Kenny's beard growth doesn't begin until the second week of July, but my glory has been growing for about a month now. I think that the process is coming along very well.

This is my hair in March...


This is my hair now...

The Wall

Well after a few weeks of going non stop I have officially hit "THE WALL". What is this wall you ask? Well this is the wall of frustration and exhaustion. You see I am tired and don't want to do anything at all. I can't seem to get myself to focus on what I need to do, I want to sleep constantly and I am becoming easily frustrated. I want to cry on a regular basis and honestly just want to give up many times throughout the day.

I also feel as if I have hit a spiritual wall. Not to say that I am not journeying, but I am not as hungry to learn as I was a few weeks ago. I had a long stint where all I wanted to do was read books, dialogue with people and learn more...now I am spending more time listening, sitting and thinking. I don't really know what to think of this. I mean I believe that it is a good think to sit and listen. Psalm says to "Be still and know that I am God." Why is it though that I am having such a hard time processing my lack of enthusiasm for learning? Why do I feel as if it is bad for me to be still? Is it so ingrained in me to do that I don't know how to be?

There seems to be so much going through my head the past couple of weeks and it is an interesting process learning how to rest and be. Maybe that is just it. Maybe I need to learn how to rest and be, not go and do. Maybe the reason I feel that I have hit a wall is because I need to rest, I have hit a wall and can't go anywhere else until I take the time to listen. Maybe, just maybe God is doing something in this time, in these emotions and frustrations. Maybe learning how to listen and be is accepting these things that we don't want to deal with and journeying with them allowing them to process in the time needed. Maybe I need to change my thinking and rest.

Confusing Day

Have you ever had a day that had so much happen that you just don't know what to do, how to take the information or even what to do first? That was my day today. Let me give a little overview of what happened?

- I was offered a job at a local church as their youth and children's director.
- I was offered a job back in California with a good friend being a youth pastor.
_ I tried to get my Washington State drivers license, but was denied because I don't have enough proof that I live here. I now have to find more valid proof...in the next 90 days.
- I found out that I have stop doing as much ministry as I have been and that I have to start doing more support raising...which is hard for me to give up. I just want to be with kids and people.
- I had to go to my part time job at the Local Scoop and have come to realize that I need to get out of there. I become angry when I am there and I don't like that.

Today was a little overwhelming...not to mention the other emotional things going through my head. There is alot going on, but somehow through all the emotions and frustration I still feel peaceful and I don't know why or how, but I know that God is in control.