The past few months have been interesting to me. They have consisted of some of the best times in my life as well as some of the hardest. Relationships have been changed and challenged and I have been left wondering
what am I doing? where am I going? and what is the purpose? With all of these trials and joys I have learned that the only way to know or make it through is to continually let go and left God have control. Sometimes I hate saying these words because I am weary of sounding too
churchy, but I am left with an understanding that sometimes that's ok. I have been challenged lately in my leadership style, my passion and my purpose and with all of this have come to the understanding, even more than in the past, that my purpose is to serve, love and care for other people. I have also learned that sometimes that comes in different forms and has to have different boundaries, but that I have to let God have control of it.
It's funny though because even with all of this happening it has been amazing to have a loving caring husband to share with and lean on. He has been a blessing in more ways than I can say. I have also been blessed with new friends and old ones that have taught me about real community and how when we live in community we are able to share in each others burdens. God has been blessing, teaching and guiding even in the midst of struggle, pain and lost relationships. So today I am left with this prayer :
Remember, O Lord, what you have wrought in us and not what we deserve; and, as you have called me to your service, make me worthy of your calling; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen
If this is where I need to be to learn, to grow and to be worthy of God's calling I am here listening, doing and learning.
