Starting Over

Over the past few years, I have given blogging a try and have failed to be consistent in my attempt.  The continual inconstancy has lead to frustration with myself in my inability to have a rhythm to my writing schedule.  This morning, I realized that the problem with not writing and blogging is that I am not sharing my life, ideas, excitements and frustrations with my friends and family.  This was my only desire in blogging and continues to be.  Knowing that I have so many friends and family scattered all over the place it is hard to find a time to be able to be in contact with each and every one.  Therefore, this is my attempt to allow people to be connected with what is happening here in Arlington as Anthony and I enter our third year of marriage.  This is an attempt to be a part of something more and to engage, even in a limited way, in the lives of the so many that we love and care for.

Through this blog, I hope to be able to share the real life joys, pains, frustrations and adventures that we engage on and in on a daily basis.  As we journey with the Lord, together and separately I pray that this is a place to be in community even though we are so far away.  I hope to share more frequently, but as for grace as I attempt to learn a discipline that has been so hard for me in the past.  I ask, though, that you will embark on this journey with me and that hopefully we will be able to connect and grow in amazing ways.

Grace and Peace,
Jessica

The Questions

The past few months have been interesting to me. They have consisted of some of the best times in my life as well as some of the hardest. Relationships have been changed and challenged and I have been left wondering what am I doing? where am I going? and what is the purpose? With all of these trials and joys I have learned that the only way to know or make it through is to continually let go and left God have control. Sometimes I hate saying these words because I am weary of sounding too churchy, but I am left with an understanding that sometimes that's ok. I have been challenged lately in my leadership style, my passion and my purpose and with all of this have come to the understanding, even more than in the past, that my purpose is to serve, love and care for other people. I have also learned that sometimes that comes in different forms and has to have different boundaries, but that I have to let God have control of it.

It's funny though because even with all of this happening it has been amazing to have a loving caring husband to share with and lean on. He has been a blessing in more ways than I can say. I have also been blessed with new friends and old ones that have taught me about real community and how when we live in community we are able to share in each others burdens. God has been blessing, teaching and guiding even in the midst of struggle, pain and lost relationships. So today I am left with this prayer :

Remember, O Lord, what you have wrought in us and not what we deserve; and, as you have called me to your service, make me worthy of your calling; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen

If this is where I need to be to learn, to grow and to be worthy of God's calling I am here listening, doing and learning.

I believe...

I've been working through my faith a lot lately, working on Grad school entrance papers and licensing papers. All of which have had me articulate my faith, what I believe. So this is it. This is what I believe.

I believe in one beautiful, merciful and majestic God who created the world through the power of His spoken word. I believe in the God who created mankind out of love and grace to take care of the earth and to be in relationship with God himself.
I believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who is God; that came into this world as a true human being to redeem the human race of sin and death. I believe in Jesus Christ who taught us to love all people no matter ethnicity, religion, gender, or status and to live a life that is pleasing to God Himself. Jesus Christ who walked day in and day out with twelve Disciples teaching, love and enjoying life with them and sharing with the, joys and pains of true community. Jesus Christ who willingly carried his own cross to be crucified as the ultimate Sin Sacrifice for all mankind. Jesus Christ who after being sacrificed rose again on the third day becoming our High Priest for all who chose to believe.
I believe in the Holy Spirit who is one in the same as God and Christ, who lives and dwells in us, leading and guiding. The Holy Spirit that came down in tongues of fire to help and guide in the growth and continuation of the Church.
I believe in one unified Church that has been sent to tell all about the beauty and majesty of our Lord, the redemption of Christ and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I believe that we are a united priesthood of believers called to love and to teach love, to serve and to teach service and to worship united as one the One Lord of Lords and King of Kings.


What do you believe?

Best Stuck of the Year

And the award goes to....Jessica Ronhaar. Yes, as of now I am the holder of the best stuck of the year award for snowmobiling. We have been going alot this season, well as much as we can with the lack of snow up here in our parts. I have been learning, but I am not the best rider ever. If that wasn't a surprise to anyone. Anthony says that I am doing well for never riding any type of motorized vehicle before. So the other day I was trying to get up a hill, without stopping. (I have learned that stopping is bad because you get stuck) As I was climbing I could feel my sled beginning to lean toward the left. I tried to get to the right side to counteract the roll, but it never happened. Next thing I know, I was in a large hole in some strange position with my sled on top of me. Anthony says it was amusing to watch, especially when I started screaming for Anthony. It took us about an hour to dig out my sled and flip it back over. Needless to say, I have the award. Thank you all for your help in receiving this award. Well not really I got this one all by myself. Here are some pictures.

And we're back....Maybe

So today I realized that i haven't really blogged or updated about life in a really long time. I realized that I have been a slacker for the past few months. I really don't know what my excuse is. I mean yes, I have had alot going on in life, but not enough to not keep up with keeping friends and family updated on my life. So, I am using this time to apologize to everyone for slacking off. I am sorry and as of now I am going to try very hard to actually use my blog. To actually update you on the happenings of life here in the Ronhaar household. To keep everyone updated on what is happening with ministry, family, life, Arlington and Washington. Now, I'm not promising miracles so don't expect this to take off too fast, but I am promising to attempt to be more purposeful in writing. So get ready everyone and let me know what you would like to hear about. Ministry? Family? Arlington? Food? (I have been cooking alot and making some tasty food). Let me know what you would like to hear about as well so that I'm not completely boring everyone.

Time to Begin Again

Wow, it has been a long time since I have last blogged. There is so much that has happened in life, but for some reason I have had a lack of wanting to share. I have been loving life, but have desperately not wanted to sit and blog. I really don't know why it has seemed like such a chore to me, but nonetheless it has been something that I have avoided like the plague. So I sit here wondering if I need to recount what has happened in life over the last few months, detailing events and trips, people and relationships. I think that there could be some benefit in that, but at the same time I am more excited about the future, so I have come to the conclusion that I will start from the here and now. I will start from the new crazy, amazing, scary and exciting stage in my life that I am in. I have met the man of my dreams and am getting married in 36 days I will be Mrs. Anthony Ronhaar. I am so excited, yet with so much to do and so many people to please I want to run away and hide. So from this point on I am going to share about my life and what is happening in this, one of the biggest transitions in my life.

The Places Jesus has never visited

At the beginning of April we took a group of students to Southern California for a mission trip to Skid Row in LA. While on this trip we decided to being Jesus (a picture of him) with us and allow him to visit some of the sites with us. While on this excursion we thought that we would introduce Jesus to places that he has never been allowed to visit before. Here is a little video documenting this trip. Stuart will take you and Jesus on a tour of the places Jesus has never visited. Oh and just a side note. Please know that this may be a little sarcastic and cynical so please don't take offense or if you do...I'm sorry.

The small joys

So last night I flew back into Seattle from San Francisco after a two day, one night trip to check out the city and learn about our mission trip that we are taking there this summer. When we landed in Seattle and I turned my phone back on i received a text from one of my students that just filled me with joy. It made my heart leap and brought a smile to my face. The text was from one of our girls that I love dearly. It read

"So I felt like informing you that at Ventus I learned that God is my interior designer and he is getting rid of my tacky wallpaper and replacing it with designer."

I know that this may sound a little odd to you, but for me it was God opening a door into the heart of a student I have been praying for for a long time. It was God working in the life of a student who has been so overwhelmed with the world and looking good and having the the things that she thinks will make her happy. It was God showing Himself to one of the most high maintenance girls I have ever met. It was and is truly amazing. I am so excited to see where this goes and how God moves. I have to admit that I was a little sad that I missed the Ventus service and wasn't a part of the conversation, but I can say that I am excited to be a part of this process and it is exciting how God can move in ways we would never think about. I mean seriously who would think that interior designing would be the way to a students heart.
Thank you Lord for how you move, thank you for how you show yourself and thank you for being absolutely majestic.

Blah

So, I haven't really wanted to blog lately. There has been so much happening and I just have felt overwhelmed with where to start or what to blog about. I don't really know what is interesting to the people who are reading my blog. I don't know what you want to know about. Is it daily life? Or ministry? Is it my thoughts on church? What should I be writing about? What do you want to hear? Please help me by giving me something, anything to help me want to write and share again. I'm stuck and need your assistance.

Interviews

Thursday night was our annual fundraising banquet. For this year's banquet Stuart put together some interviews of some of our girls and how they have been impacted. Please take the time to watch this video and see how God is impacting the lives of students here in Arlington.



If you would like to know more about what is happening here in Arlington check out our website at http://www.yd.org/communities/arlington/
Also, if you would like to be a part of what is happening here in Arlington please consider joining my monthly support team by going to http://www.yd.org/communities/arlington/staff/jessica_maher/239/ . Please consider helping me stay here in Arlington to live life with these amazing students.

Tonight is the Night

Tonight is our big night. It is our annual fundraising banquet. This year we have having some awesome dessert catered by Christie Kroeze. Please be in prayer for this event as we are striving to raise money to send kinds on trips, support the local ministry here in Arlington and support ourselves. Please pray that God's hand will be on this event, that lives will be touched and that people will see the value and need for Youth Dynamics. Here is a link to our article in the local paper.
http://www.pnwlocalnews.com/north_sound/arl/lifestyle/38915839.html

What are the consequences?

This picture of olympic superstar Michael Phelps came about this week in a Tabloid magazine. He posted this statement

"I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment," Phelps said in a statement released by Octagon, his management firm, and posted on his Facebook site. "I'm 23 years old, and despite the successes I have had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner that people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public - it will not happen again."

So what are your thoughts? What do you think needs to happen? I know that being a swim and water polo coach for many years I had many high school students that I worked with that looked up to Michael Phelps and many the high school girls with crushes on Michael Phelps...so what is it? Do we accepts it as a mistake? He is young and we all make mistakes. Should be be punished for something dumb?

Emotions

Today, I am feeling a little emotional. There are an array of feelings, thoughts, desires, and decisions that are traveling through my head at amazing rates of speed. It is hard to even pin down exactly what I am feeling because of the vastness of what is going through my head. I am feeling a little lonely wishing for that time and place to have someone to sit and talk to, to share frustrations, joys and life with. I am feeling excited for the up coming season with trips and students, training and planning. I am burdened with the thought of taking a semester off of school to save money and keep myself out of more debt. I am hopeful for the future and the joy that seems to hold on even when it doesn't make sense. And this is where I sit this morning. Excited for the next few days with other staff, hoping for some time of reflection, rest and refreshment; stressed over the next week and getting ready for the banquet; hopeful that conversations will lead to relationships; frustrated in people not making sense and thankful that I am able to feel, hope, think, cry and love. Thank you Lord for feelings and emotions. Thank you for the life you have provided and continue to provide. Thank you for the opportunities you have placed in my life and the people I have been blessed with knowing. Thank you.

HotDoggin 09

This last weekend was HotDoggin 09, Youth Dynamics first annual Westside snow retreat. One aspect of this retreat was the nightly game of Hotdog Vs. Mustard. In this game two of our students dressed up as Hotdog and Mustard. Here is the theme song and opening video of this event.

Lack of enthusiasm

Alright, so I am here to apologize once again for my lack of blogging. I always seems to have fantastic intentions that somehow die because of my lack of enthusiasm. I seem to sit down many days to write and find myself not wanting to or thinking that what I would write about would really be of no interest to anyone, but myself. (I think that I need to get over that) So, once again I am going to try to enter into the blog world. I am going to work on blogging more regularly about what is happening in life and in ministry. Alot has happened since Christmas and I will write about all of that as soon as I get back from this long weekend of snow, games and hotdogs. At 7pm tonight students will arrive at Arlington United Church to spend the night and tomorrow morning at 8:30 am we will leave Arlington for our first annual Hotdoggin event. There will be 80 students, some adults, lots of hotdogs and a good time. I will let you know all about it when we get back. Please be praying for us and the 10 students that we are taking with us as well as the other Youth Dynamics areas that will be bringing students. Please pray that they will have a good time, that they will experience God and that everyone is safe. Alright, well I am off for a crazy weekend.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!!! Let's remember the reason for this day, the real reason. Not presents or food, not even family or friends. Let's really remember the Life, Hope and Majesty that needs to be remembered on this day. So many times we forget, so let's remember, rejoice and reflect.

Let it Snow

It's snowing here in Arlington and it doesn't look like it is going to stop any time soon. I decided to go to work this morning and all that I can say is that I am glad that I made it and I'm glad that I made it home. I know that there are people who drive in snow all the time that is alot worse than what we have here, but being a girl from Orange County driving in the snow is not my forte. I am learning though and this year I seem to be liking the snow alot more than I did last year. My dog, Eli, thinks that snow is the greatest thing ever!!!

Hot, Hot, Hot

While I was back in California last week for my Grandpa's funeral, some of our volunteers here in Arlington has a habanero pepper eating contest. I watched this and laughed so hard that I was crying. The best part was the picture that was sent to me in California while at the funeral of Kenny crying from the pain of the pepper. This is awesome!!!!

One Down

Yesterday was an interesting day. Brunch with the family wasn't as awkward as I thought, but it is interesting seeing family that you haven't seen in over 10 years. My cousins have gotten married and had kids and it s just weird. Anyway it was great to hang out for the day with my cousins who are now 40 or around there. It is so weird to me that they are that old. Not that that is old, it is just out of the context that I had for them. My aunts and uncles never seem to change and it is just slightly weird trying to explain life for the last 10 years. It was good though.

I still don't understand why we have viewings. What is the point really? I felt bad thought because nobody came, so we sat there and waited for 4 hours until it was time to go home. I have to admit that I didn't even go into the room with the body. There is something about that that just doesn't seem right to. Why do we go in and look at a dead body and that gives us closure? I think that I can have closure on my own thanks. The sad thing is that nobody in my family is really upset. After talking to people I have come to realize that my whole family thinks that my grandpa was a little off and not always the nicest man in the world. I'm glad that is wasn't just me or my family, but everyone. This is still interesting because my grandpa had a strange obsession with me and everyone keeps commenting on it. It wasn't my fault. I'll tell you that right now. I never asked for my grandpa to try to kidnap me or follow me home from school.

Anyway, today is the funeral. I'm afraid that nobody is going to be there for that either. So, it is funeral, graveside service and family gathering afterword. We have to go through pictures and deal with other things, and because my mom isn't here I have to take her spot in responsibility. It is a little weird. Anyway, I just really can't wait to go home. It has been good to see family, but I am ready to be back to my life and this is funny to say, but the place that I have grown to love in Arlington.

So today I am off to a funeral and I feel bad because I am not sad and crying or anything else. I feel bed because I don't have anything to say about how great of a grandpa he was. I more feel a sense of relief that he isn't going to show up at my house or at work. That I am not looking on street corners for him. It sounds bad, but I am a little happy. I know it sounds a little demented, but I never claimed to be normal. I just hope that I don't upset people with my lack of emotion, but then nobody else seems to be torn up either. I think everyone feels a sense of relief. I know it is weird, but my family is really messed up. Well, here goes another day of weirdness. Then tomorrow I get to go home to the freezing cold of Arlington.

Interesting Times

Well this week I am home in Orange County for my grandfather's funeral. He passed away suddenly last Wednesday morning. Since the phone call last Thursday morning life has bee very interesting. Let me give you a little background on the situation. My family doesn't really talk to my mom, or she doesn't talk to them, because of this I have been out of contact with this side of my family for the last 10 years. I have talked to them on and off over this time, but nothing more than "Hi, I live in Washington." I did talk to my grandpa, but lost contact with him about 6 months ago. He stayed on my support team, but I couldn't find him. Come to find out in this time he had moved from Iowa back to California. Who knew?

Anyway, these past few days have somehow made the the liaison between my mother and the rest of the family. This has not been a good situation. My mom and sister, for their own reasons, aren't coming to the funeral which leaves me alone with these people that I barely know. This morning I am off to brunch with the family. (I didn't even know that brunch was a real thing) This is going to be an awkward couple of days. I have to spend time and socialize with people who are my family, but I really don't have the first clue as to who they are as people. I have to go to my grandfather's funeral and am honestly not a grieved as I feel I should be. I also have to deal with the will crap. All that I know about this is that I don't want to be in the middle of a bad situation with my mom and the rest of the family. Needless to say I have very mixed feelings about the next few days. I am excited to hopefully develop relationships with my family, I am sad that my grandpa is gone, I am confused about everything and nervous to step into an unknown situation. Please be praying that everything goes well.