Frustration

So, over the past few weeks I have been a little frustrated. Frustrated about school, finances, friends, family; pretty much just frustrated about life. I haven't really thought much about it, just that it was part of the season and that it would go away. I figured that it was something that I was dealing with and that just had to play itself out. Apparently, though, my frustration was and is more evident than I realized. Today I had a friend sit me down and let me know that it is showing. I never realized that it was that evident to other people, that I was pretty much taking it out on other people, through the comments that I make, the tone that I respond in and even my lack of response. I don't want to be this person. I don't want to come across as frustrated and angry. I don't want it to rub off on other people. I want people to feel loved by me, by what I say and what I do. I want to be joyful, funny and kind. I want to be Christ to the people that I meet. So, I talked with my friend and we came to a few conclusions.
1. Life isn't going to be perfect. I can't let my circumstances get the best of me though. I need to trust that God is at work.
2. I need to find a worthy nemesis in my life. What does that mean? It means that I am finding people in my life to be the "evil" instead of dealing. If I am really going to have a nemesis it needs to be a darn good one and the one that I have right now isn't equal to my efforts. Therefore...no more nemesis.
3. I need to focus on what I am passionate about:
- Journeying peacefully with Christ, learning, trusting and resting in Him
- Teens, students- I love them and desperately desire for them to have and experience love, grace and peace in their lives.
- Community- I desire to be a part of a loving, open and authentic community
- Financial stability/lack of debt- That means that I work toward finishing support
In order to focus on what I am passionate about I need to let go and not blame the things that get in the way. I need to rest in the Lord and know that He is bigger than I can ever imagine and know that frustration isn't going to get me anywhere. Love, Grace and Peace need to be the focus, not frustration, anger and resentment. Therefore today I take the first step in letting go, realizing that I can't change other people, but I can change myself. Yes, people may get on my nerves and I may not agree with them, but I can love them and if I love them I am living out the passions that have been placed inside me.