Realization

As I am sitting here in my bed checking email and reflecting on the day I have come to a realization that hurts to reveal, but alas is true and needs to be released. I have realized that a dream I have had of a reconciliation in my life may never happen. Learning that others have also changed their plans and the idea of being forced to see each other not happening because of this has allowed me to realize that God is completely at work. Holding onto the dream is no longer an option and only God knows if it will ever be fulfilled, but as of now I need to let go of it, mourn the loss of the dream I have wanted, oh so desperately, and allow God to work. It is hard and is still a process, but one that is going to have to happen because that hope of a maybe looks less and less like a reality and more and more of a let go. So here I am trying desperately to hold onto anything realizing to truly allow God to work I must let go. It is not giving up on a dream, but a letting go and allowing God to do His will and not my own.