The Week

This week has been an interisting one, to say the least. I think that I have gone through every emotion that I am capable of over the course of this week...and the crazy part is that the week isn't over. The week started with a realization that the job I have been doing can't be done any longer. I realized that I was hating my job. I mean literally hating. I would become angry while there and just dispised every minute of it. I have been praying for a while about this and finally came to the answer of putting out resumes. I did and the next day got a job offer and took it. I start this weekend and quit the resturant yesterday. I no longer have to serve an impatient teenager pancakes at 3am.

I feel complete relief over this, but now have been hit with the overwhelming stress of having to write a 12 page missions paper by monday. This would be fine, but I have to take youth girls to the revolve tour. It is going to be great and an amazing experience for them, but I could put the time forth to work on my paper.

Finally, I have gone through the emotions this week of loss. I have realized many things and still feel a loss even after so many months of being alone. I miss that one person that I want to talk to more than anyone else. I miss that person that sat on the couch and let me rest my head. I miss it all and have come to realize that it still hurts. I think that the worst part is that others can see him and I can't. They come and tell me and then I remember and have to deal. It is funny though because I feel this loss, but I know that it is God's will for now and until I can totally depend on God for everything I am not going to be given another chance. I need to wait for God's will to be done and let go of my own. I've been learning, but it isn't the easiest learn ever. I know that learning doesn't have to be easy and most of the time it isn't, but right now I wish it was.