Loneliness

Lonliness, it is an emotion or feeling that continues to amaze me. Not to think that I think it is something that is good, but it continues to hit me and work me at the most inopportune times, the times that really just don't make sense. I find it funny how at a time when I have more people surrounding me with prayer and time, that I feel more lonely. Maybe it is me just missing friends, maybe it is missing those significant relationships and the fact that I am having to build new relationships. Maybe there is something I have to learn. I really don't know. All that I do know is that loneliness keeps attacking and from every direction. I try to anticipate where it is going to come from next and somehow always seem to guess wrong. From the left or the right, from the past or the present I never know and never seem to be prepared. It is a vicious emotion that feels as it is eating you from the inside out and hurts in ways you could never imagine and the worst part is that it is really all in our minds. There is an answer and it is letting go and letting God have control of it, letting him fill the voids, yet it is so hard. Why is it so hard to let go of something that hurts so much? I don't know if we will ever be able to answer that.