Super Support Day

Today was SUPER SUPPORT RAISING DAY It was the most amazing day ever!!! Ok not so much. I have to admit that at the end of the day I don't feel as accomplished as I thought I would. I was super excited and drove up to the Co Op in Mount Vernon to write letters. (I decided that I needed a change of scenery to write well). I literally wrote letters for four hours. My hand hurt and by the time I was done I had only written ten letters. I guess that my expectations were too high expecting to write every letter I needed to in the course of a few hours.

It was a good day though. It was nice to be able to share with people back home what has been happening here in Arlington, to share stories of students and how God has been working in people's lives. The funny things is that at the end of the day I was left feeling sad. I think that writing letters to people that I saw day in and day out back home left me remembering the people I love. I am still grateful to be here though and after writing all those letters remembered how big God is.

So, SUPER SUPPORT RAISING DAY was a success, it had a few side effects, but it was good. Please be praying as these letters are sent out that the 15% in monthly that I still need to raise will come soon. And hey if you would like to help support a missionary in Arlington, WA here is a link to do so and thank you. https://www.egivingsystems.org/support/54839/index.php?acct_code=MaherJessica

Good Day

Today, I needed to be out of the office, take some time off and rest a little. So I went home, made lunch and fell asleep watching cheesy daytime tv. After that I had the brilliant idea to make banana bread. It turned out pretty well for my first time and it being gluten free. Next I cleaned my house, which was needed desperatly. By this time it was time for dinner...I made amazing chicken stir fry. It was so good. Needless to say I feel alot better than I did this morning and I am greatful for a day full of nothing really. It was awesome.

There you go, that is a recap of the day.

Evangelism

Yesterday had a discussion with someone from my Church who is attending Bible College about evangelism. This semester he is taking evangelism class and is reading all kinds of books on the topic. He informed me that he had to come to the conclusion by the end of the semester as to what the best form of evangelism is. So I asked him what he thought the "best form of evangelism" was. He began to inform as he began the class he thought that street evangelism was the best method. Now, I have to admit that when I heard this I was floored. I didn't think that anyone really thought this was a good thing. He believed that standing on a street corner telling people about the gospel was the best way to "evangelize". He then informed me that after reading and researching, though, he realized that this was indeed not the best method. I felt a glimmer of hope and asked "what is the best method, then?" He proceeded to inform me that after researching and discussing with other people that the best method of evangelism was in fact door to door evangelism. I quickly responded in dismay "you mean like Mormons or j-ho's?" He looked at me and laughed and said yes.

Our conversation continued for a while with me asking how this would work and if there would be follow-up, would relationships be built? I then expressed my view on evangelism and actually loving people, being their friends, living life with them...he looked at me like I was nuts and said "I am trying to figure out how you think. Are you postmodern?" I responded with "I guess I am, but the people you are going to meet out there think like me, they ask questions, they aren't looking for black and white answers, they are looking for more, for something real."

I left this conversation saddened. Saddened by the fact that this is what is being taught to Bible School students. Now I know that many times I am way out there and many people wouldn't agree with many of my thoughts and opinions, but I would like to know what other people think about "Evangelism". What is evangelism to you? What is the best "method"? Please share your thoughts and opinions...you won't hurt my feelings.

oops

Well it seems that I have forgotten to blog for about a month now...sorry about that. Life has gotten the best of me and remembering to blog has been something that hasn't really happened. Here is a little catch-up of what has happened...

- I have been gone almost every weekend. I have learned to river kayak, river raft, rappel and I attempted rock climbing (we are are still working on that).

- I have come to the conclusion that I love water based activities even though everyone swears that I will love rock climbing...I just had a bad first experience.

- I am still working a part time job at the Local Scoop which takes up alot of my evenings which is ok for now because I don't have any friends to hang out with who don't have kids...but one day this will change which means that I need to keep working on support raising to be at 100%. That means that one day I could have a normal life. (I have still yet to experience a "normal" life...do they even exist?)

- I went shopping with Janelle and we decorated my house. It looks awesome. I came to the realization though that I am offically an adult. I pay real rent now and have my own place...it is a little strange, but I think that I like it.

- My world has been rocked lately in contemplating what it is that the kids that I work with need. I have come to the realization that they don't need the games and events that we have always put on in youth ministry...they need my time, love, story and someone to journey through life with them. (this is the most basic level of this realization...I may post more in depth some other time.)

- We took two students with us the the Core a couple of weeks ago and it was a great time watching them realize that there is potential for them to make change happen in their world. We then took them to a sweet church in Seattle. It was awesome to spend the day with two students and just really spend time with them with no real intention except to be.

- The semester is almost over, but I still have a 20 page paper to write. It is funny because this sholdn't scare me, but somehow this concept terrifies me and in this fear I procastinate even more. It is a strange cycle. Needless to say I know what I need to write, but the writing process is still yet to begin.

Everything that has been happening around here has been tiring to say the least, but it has been awesome and I am loving every minute of it. Sorry for the quick overview, but I will try to be a little more consistent in this process.

Youth Culture

What is youth culture really? Is there really such a thing as youth culture? I have been thinking about this and have come to the conculsion that youth culture cannot be defined. I mean how would you really define such an phenomea? Youth are so different in every city and town and even within those places you have emos adn skaters, jocks and band geeks, is there really any real tie that holds all youth together? Is there anything that really defines "youth culture"? What do you think? Am I way off?

Craziness

There has been alot of craziness in my life over the last week or so. It feels like I haven't stopped to rest, take things in and look around for a while now. I haven't even had time to process life, yet I know that all that has happened over the past week or so has been awesome. Here is a little recap of what has happened.

- Last week we took 6 students on a three day road trip to Redding, California in search of In and Out Burgers. It was an awesome time of bonding. I will share more about this trip and pictures soon.

- We got back on Tues night from California and I moved on Wed. I am finally in my house and out of the trailer. It seems so big compared to the trailer for the past 5 months. It is really nice, but such a mess with boxes everywhere. It is funny though I have been without my stuff for so long I forgot what I had and have realized that I really don't even need most of it. I am in the search for a couch and kitchen table right now...I will have pictures of my house soon, also.

- Friday I left for a weekend kayak training trip on the Methow River in Eastern, Washington. It was a great trip...I made it through class 4 rapids without taking a swim. I actually didn't swim at all. It was pretty cold, so I am glad about that. I am super sore and sunburned though. (It seems that when your body hasn't seen sun in a long time you burn even easier than normal.)It really was a great trip and the people were a ton of fun. I think that I really like kayaking...I could do without the 12 layers of neoprene though. I'll have pictures of this soon, also.

Needless to say, it has been a crazy week and I am ready to rest, but everything that has happened has been good. I have been learning alot and am super excited about what is happening here in Arlington. The rest of the month is going to be just as crazy with training the next two weekends and the Core at the end of the month. I am excited though, I see God really working right now in everything that is happening, students are being effected and relationships that are being created are awesome. It is funny that even in the midst of all this craziness I feel a sense of complete peace. I know that this is where I am supposed to be right now and that feeling is so amazing.

Leadership

I am working on a paper for school looking at leadership in a postmodern church environment. I have been thinking about this alot and am having a hard time articulating what it is I am trying to say.

Here is the issue. I believe that leadership in the Church has left its roots and has become more about corporate leadership and less about holistic leadership. Leadership has become about career and goals, standards, rules, compartmentalized church rather than community and incarnational, holistic leadership.

I believe that the church needs to go back to a holistic approach if it is ever going to be effective in the world today. SO many people today are weary of corporate models and are looking for places where they are wanted and can actually be a part of something more than numbers.

So I would like to post a question to you. What do you think of church leadership? Do you like the way it is now? Does it need to change? What would it look like if it were to change? Thoughts, ideas, and questions are always welcome.

YD video

Stuart made this video for the banquet. I thought that you guys might like to see what is happening here in Arlington and what we are doing. Enjoy.

And the Results are in...

Well, this years banquet went quite well. Over all it was a great event. Our goal was to raise $30,000 dollars and right now we are at about $25,000. Which is awesome. Some people are still deciding on things also. I am now at 95% supported, which is awesome!!! I have about $390 a month left to raise to be at 100%. It is awesome to see how God has provided in this time and process. I am excited because this also means that I can cut back ours at my side job and spend some more time with the students. I have to admit that daily god continues to blow me away with what He is doing here in Arlington and the people He is using in this process.

Banquet

Today is the big day, today is Arlington Youth Dynamics annual fundraising banquet. We have been working on this for the last few weeks and it is finally here. There are still a few loose ends that need to be tied up, but other than that I think that we are ready.

Please be praying for this event tonight, please pray that people will want to be a part of the ministry here in Arlington and become a part of our support team. Our goal is to raise $30, 000 for our ministry to run here in Arlington. Please also be praying because 3 table are dedicated to my support. As of now I need $800 a month to be at 100%. Please pray that people will be a part of my being here in Arlington. Please pray that people will have a good time and that we get everything done.

How to catch a polar bear

So my Step dad likes to take pictures and photo shop them and make strange pictures. I found this amusing and thought that I would share it. In case anyone ever wanted to know how to catch a polar bear...he has given you 3 easy steps. And please don't forget the very last and most important step....RUN!!!!

Random Question

So here is my random question of the day...when you meet someone new and you think that they are pretty cool...when is is ok to ask them to hang out sometime? Is it ever not awkward at this point? How do you make this exchange less awkward? Do you have to see each other a few times before it is ok to ask to hang out? Ok I am done with the questions for now...anyone have any input?

Relationships

"When you summarise the Great Commandment with one word, it would be relationships. Nothing matters more to God than relationhsips.
They are the source and context for eternal life. Having right
relationship with God results in having relationships with others."
- Erwin McManus

Rhythm

"The song is playing all around us all the time, the song is playing everywhere,
it's written on our hearts, and everybody is playing the song. See the
question isn't whether or not you're playing the song, the question is 'Are you
in tune?'" - Rob Bell

I recently watched the Nooma video "Rhythm" which related God to a song with different parts all working together to create a beautiful, masterful piece of music. The type of music that reaches deep into your core, the music that you can't help but feel. We are all a part of this orchestra, but the issue is if we are intune with the music or not. Christ's song is one of love, compassion, acceptance, authenticity, passion, desire, creation and hope. How many of us live intune with this song? Does our song sometimes consist more of judgement, condemnation, and hate? How much does our being out of tune mess up the beauty of the song that is on our hearts?

"Maybe you have this sense like you have no sort of relationship with God
because of all these things, these ideas you have about what that means, all these things that you've been told about what is or what isn't. And an
infinite, massive, kind of invisible God, that's hard to get our minds
around, but truth, love, grace, mercy, justice, compassion- the way that
Jesus lived, I can see that. I can understand that. I can relate to that. I
can play that song."- Rob Bell

So my question to you is are you intune with God's song? Can you hear
it, feel it, live it? Or are you still out of tune squeeking and making people cover their ears?

My new Fashion Accessories

A friend sent this to me. It is amazing...I didn't even know what to say except "WOW". I am running out to get mine today!!! Gotta look good for Jesus.

Worth thinking about

"The greatest enemy to the movement of Jesus Christ is Christianity."-
Erwin Raphael McManus

And the race continues

Do you ever feel like you are in a never ending race? It just keeps going and going and you never see the finish line? Your body begins to get tired and you feel as if you are never going to make it until the end?

When I swam in high school I remember this feeling very well. The first couple laps would be awesome and I would feel as if I could keep going forever, but then a few laps into it my body would become drained of oxygen, my muscles would become tired and I would become weak. I would begin talking to myself, telling myself that I was going to make it, that I could finish the race. I would remind myself that I had been training for this and had done it a million times. Each time I would hit the wall I could hear my friends and coaches cheering and somehow it would give a little bit of energy to go another lap. That final lap was always the worst though, because I would put all the energy that I had left into it, pushing and yelling until I would stretch my entire body to reach for the wall at the very end. Finishing was amazing, but I remember that I would be so tired that sometimes I wouldn't even be able to get myself out of the pool.

My life feels like that right now. I feel like I keep going and somehow every day make it though even though I really don't know how. Those little conversations of encouragement, the yells and screams that are heard through muffled water. The small voice of the Lord guiding me through another day, not knowing how I keep going. I am tired, my body feels weak and my mind is going in twelve different directions. There seems to be no end to this race, the month is young and so much needs to happen, but somehow I continue and I know that it is not through my own strength that it happens. I have to say that God is amazing and His small voice, simple words and amazing love and hope provide what is needed to keep enough energy to finish this race. When will this race be over and the next one start, I don't know, but I do know that He has prepared me for this one and I can finish even when every fiber of my being says other wise.

I know the Lord is always with me.
I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. Psalm 16:8

Completely Content

I have come to realize over the past few days that I am completely content with my life right now. It is awesome. I don't feel as if I need anything more than what I have here and now. I have found it completely amazing how God continues to work in ways that I will never understand and leaves us totally at peace even when the surrounding circumstances say that we should not be at peace at all.
I mean to be completely honest I am living in a strange place, in a trailer with my dog where it is very cold most of the time. I don't really know anyone except married people and the prospects of friends or even dates are very slim. I mean people are a little strange out here sometimes. I really don't have much money and I work alot.
The funny thing is that I love it. I love the people that I have met and am friends with. I work with a great friend, and I love every minute of ministry. I am also completely happy and content being single. I have come to realize that other people are more concerned with it than I am. I am not looking at the past and longing to be there, but am excited about the future and what God is doing in it. I love the excitement of what is around the next corner and I have to say that the view here in Arlington is beautiful. The only complaint that I do have is that things close way too early around here. Seriously Starbucks closing at 8pm...come on now.
Anyway, it is an amazing feeling to be so content and excited. I think that this is the first time in my life where I am not searching for more or the next thing, but am happy growing in God and learning each day more and more about His vast and amazing love and hope. It is awesome and I hope that everyone is able to experience it at some point in their life.

Newsletter

I am getting ready to send out my quarterly newsletter. It is an awesome way to see what has been going on here in Arlington, Washington with Youth Dynamics. If there is anyone who doesn't already recieve my newsletter and would like to let me know. Send me an email and I will get you on my mailing list. It is a great way to stay connected and know what our prayer needs are up here also. Email me at jmaher@yd.org if you are interested.

I also send out periodic email updates, if you are interested in recieving those let me know and I will get you on that list.

There are awesome things happening here and I don't want you to miss out.

Passion

How is it that some people can live with what seems like no passions in life at all? How can a person live and just not care about anything at all? What drives this person? What makes them get up day after day? I just don't understand.

And We're Back

We came home last night from our snow retreat at Stonewater Ranch. It was an awesome time of snow, tubes, conversations, snow kitchens, new relationships, Christ and sleep deprivation. I really feel like this was a successful weekend. God moved and I believe that many of the relationships that were began are the beginning of a new journey with God. I hope that as the students came out of this weekend that they will choose to take the step and not look back. I pray that they will not come back with a mountain top experience that fades away, but that decisions that were made will be like decisions. I will have pictures soon as well as some great stories as soon as my brain starts functioning again in a coherent fashion...so I am apologizing now if this makes no sense at all.

Snow

We are off Stonewater Ranch this weekend for our snow retreat. I am really excited for this time. We are taking about 15-20 kids and are hoping for a good time. The focus this weekend is Story and the fact that we all have one. I am excited for students to hear that everyone hasn't come from an easy life and that God has written us into his awesome, amazing and wonderful story. I am also excited for sometime of real conversation. Please pray while we are gone that God will guide the weekend, the conversations and the time. Please pray that God will be able to take hold of the hearts of some of these students and help them to realize that they are worth something, that they have a purpose and that they are loved.

inevitable

Have you ever heard news about someone that you knew was inevitable, but still hits you hard? That happened today. It isn't bad per say, just something that you never really wanted to hear or that you knew you would hear, but always wanted to avoid. I always wanted to avoid this, but avoidance isn't the answer to life, living is and I am living. With living comes emotion which sucks most of the time, but reminds me that I am living and I love that part of it. So hear goes the inevitable that can't be avoided...

Rest

Resting has not always been something that I have been good at. I have always been one to go, go , go and not stop until I have been kicked in the face. I am now coming to realize how vital rest is and how much I lack it. I mean I get enough sleep. I don't need to rest in that sense, but more in the way I live life. Not adding more onto my plate because I think that I can handle it, not trying to do more that I should, but taking time to sit and be still. To be quiet and alone, to enjoy life and not make everything about having to get something done.

Beginning today I am going to be making the choice to learn how to rest, how to enjoy life and live life to the fullest, enjoying life and not making it a burden. I believe that God has given me this life as a gift and it needs to be enjoyed. Beginning today I am looking for that really cool rest area in my life where it is beautiful, sunny and hopefully has clean facilities.

So my question is how do you rest? Do you rest? What do you think rest is? Let's talk.

Stuart Tagged me

01. One book that changed your life
Boundaries by John Townsend and Henry Cloud
02. One book that you’ve read more than once
Across Five Aprils by Irene Hunt
03. One book you’d want on a desert island
Camping and Wilderness Survival...I would have to agree with Stuart on this one
04. Two books that made you laugh
Left Behind by Jerry B. Jenkins and Tim Lehaye (it is seriously cheesy)
Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein (this is just an awesome book)
05. One book that made you cry
Story by Steven James
I have to add one more...Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls
06. One book that you wish had been written
How to stay out of the middle of Family drama
07. One book that you wish had never been written
Animal Farm by George Orwell
08. Two books you’re currently reading
Management Essentials for Christian Ministries by Michael Anthony and James Estep, Jr.
Never the Same by Steven James
09. One book you’ve been meaning to read
Sex God by Rob Bell
10. Now tag five (or so) people:Jess, Noelle, Morgan, and Lucas.

Before I die

A while back I made a list of things that I would like to do before I die. I am working on this being a list of at least 100 things, right now it is at 60. I posted this list in 2006 and am still working on it, so here are the first 60 and I will have the rest very soon. Oh and the cool thing is that some of these have been accomplished in the past year...



1. Go to India

2. Get married

3. Have kids

4. Speak at an event

5. Earn my maters degree (this will be done in about a year)

6. Go to San Francisco (I will be there next week)

7. Go to Ireland

8. Do missions work in another country (I went on three trips to Mexico this summer...I would still like to do more though)

9. Have at least one year with one Sabbath day a week

10. Write my mom a letter expressing my gratitude

11. Live somewhere besides Orange County, CA (I have moved to Arlington, WA)

12. Meet the love of my life

13. Write a book

14. Work at a summer camp

15. Be content with who God has made me (I have gotten closer to this)

16. Camp in Yosemite (I spent a night there this summer and Katelynn and I are planning on a trip this summer.)

17. Own a home (with a red door)

18. Write a letter to my children declaring my love.

19. Ride my bike down the California Coast

20. Kiss my husband on top of a mountain

21. Write good youth Bible Study curriculum (this could be potentially happening very soon)

22. Home school my children for one year (at least).

23. Raise my children (not let the school)

24. Disciple (this is happening in many different ways)

25. Be a disciple (God has been working on me with this and it has been awesome!!!)

26. Befriend an enemy

27. Share God's amazing love with students (that is my job now...how cool is that?)

28. Create a photo mural

29. Drive across the country

30. Jet ski

31. Para sail

32. Backpack

33. Take pictures of God's amazing creation and create a book.

34. Take students on a mission trip (I took the young adults and the youth this summer to Mexico...it was really awesome. I am ready to go again.)

35. Take time to experience Creation

36. Make an effort to show girls that they are beautiful

37. Do disaster relief

38. Wear a size 9

39. Read the Grapes of Wrath

40. Develop a Camp

41. Learn not to worry

42. Learn to play the guitar

43. Learn to play the piano

44. Give something that is important to me to another person

45. Write Nell a letter to tell her how much I love her and what an amazing friend she has been

46. Fly the para plane

47. Drive the entire West Coast (I almost did that from Orange County to Arlington...not quite though)

48. Take Katelynn on vacation

49. Play Tyrone at my wedding

50. Get to know my nieces

51. Get a doctorate degree

52. Fast

53. Create a strong prayer life

54. Create a strong quiet time

55. Learn to be still before the Lord

56. Tithe regularly

57. Love

58. Be loved

59. Live an honoring life to God.

60. Learn to listen to God.

It is really awesome what happens in a year. There has been alot that I have learned and done this year and the exciting thing is that there is still more. I will have the rest of my list soon. What about you? What would you like to do before you die?

Seriously Frustrated

I have to share that I am really frustrated with airline companies right now. Apparently they no longer work with people on their airline flights when there is a medical emergency. See, my dad is going to be having an angioplasty and a stint put in on Friday morning. This was not known when I booked my flight to California 2 months ago. I have been trying to work with and talk to the airline company and they are going to charge me $227 to stay until Sunday to be with my dad. I could buy another plane ticket for less...this is completely ridiculous. I don't understand. Anyway it is needless to say that I am really annoyed right now, as well as frustrated, angry and stressed. Now my dad has to do this on his own.

Christmas in the OC

Bethany and I went to the beach on Christmas Eve...it was fantastic. The sun was shining and people were smiling. I have to say that the beach still is my favorite place. It was really an awesome day to spend with my cousin who I haven't seen in a long time. We hung out, ate some Chipotle and went to the Christmas Eve service at Shoreline. After that it was off to Animal Beach in Dana Point. I have to say it is still one of the most amazing beaches I have ever seen. The way the moon hits the waves as they crash creates these dark blue wave. It is truly amazing. I have come to wonder what animal beach looks like during the day though. (I always go late at night). Anyway...here are some pictures of out day at the beach.

Crazy times in California

Well, I flew into California on Wednesday night and I don't think that I have stopped since I have been here.
Here is a rundown of what has happened.
Wed
-flew in on Wed night to Ontario airport.
-went to in and out
-got to the OC at about 11pm and went to bed.
Thurs
- Picked up my dad at 8am to head to the Long Beach VA hospital for a angiogram
-Dropped my dad off and headed to Fountain Valley for lung with my Aunt and Uncle
- Took my little buddy to Starbucks and visited my 3 friends that work there in the process
- Dropped my little buddy off
- Picked up my dad at the hospital and took him home
- got Matt some Starbucks
- Came home, got stuff together and drove out to San Bernadino to see my sister
- Talked with my sister for a while and fell asleep at about midnight
Fri
- made Fudge until 3pm with my sister
- drove back to the OC
- Went to the Young Adults Christmas party at Shoreline
- Go to go on a harbor cruise and look at the Christmas lights (the highlight of my night)
- Stopped by the youth all nighter to say hi and ended up being there until 2am.
Sat
-Up at 9am and talk to grandma for about half an hour
- has lunch with Jessica
-Went to Coffee Bean and read some of my book
- Went to downtown HB with Lizzy
- Went to Katelynns and watched "It's a Wonderful Life" (my favorite movie of all time)

So that is what I have done since I have been back in California. Tomorrow I am going to be going to Church and lunch with like half the church...I still have a week and a half of people to see and things to do.

Taking White Space to a New Place

Today I decided to have a little white space time. If you don't know what "white space" is it is that time in your life that you spend with God in between the lines of daily life, letting God into those places, the margins, between the words. This morning I woke up and instead of doing my Lectio Divina decided that I would read some of the book "Story" that I was only about 30 pages into.

Well, "Story" engulfed me. I read and read and read some more until the book was completely done, when it was over I was trembling, literally. The experience, the thought, the emotion that began to come up from inside me was amazing. I read a story that I thought I knew, creation, Israelites, God, Christ, birth, death, Resurrection, life. I knew all of this, but somehow I came to revisit all of this in a new way, an exciting, hopeful and amazing way. All this to say that the Story is something that we should all revisit. We all need to remember how everything fits together. Not three points to this truth and twelve ways to live a better life or have a better family, but the true reason for at least why I am here. Hope, love, life, death, excitement, amazement, sacrifice and choice. That is it that is the reason. Or as people would say right now "the reason for the season."

I encourage everyone to take your white space to a new level and revisit the amazing story of God and remember that you are a part of that story.

Peace

Over the past few weeks I have been having a hard time dealing with life. Worries, stresses, the unknown; all of these have been invading my thought, my actions and my life. It has been hard. This morning I took some time to sit, and be with God. I have been practicing Lectio Divina for the past couple of weeks and the passage I have been reading is from Psalm 130. I would like to share it because today it hit me hard, it over whelmed me, and penetrated deep down to the core of who I am.

Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD!
O Lord, hear my voice!
Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my pleas for mercy!
If you, O LORD, should mark iniquities,
O Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness,
that you may be feared.
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen for the morning,
more than watchmen for the morning.
O Israel, hope in the LORD!
For with the LORD there is steadfast love,
and with him is plentiful redemption.
And he will redeem Israel from all his iniquities.

Today I wait in anticipation of the Lord, watching, searching, hoping. I have hope in Him, His plans and His future. Today I feel peace, peace that I haven't felt in a while, peace that is overwhelming and exciting. Today I know it is all going to be okay.

Your Thoughts

I am in the process of writing a paper about the Church. It is not intended to be something that slams the Church, but an honest look at what needs to change if we are really going to reach people in this generation. Here are a few things that I am thinking:

- The Church has become more about the building than the people.
- We have made it so that people have to be like us before they can come
instead of accepting them as who they are.
- We have forgotten the story, Christ's story and our story. In this
we have made the Bible a text that has to be memorized and known, but the
experience is gone, the emotion, the journey have been left out.
- We have made God an out there God a great God that can't be reached
instead of a personal God.
- The hope, mystery, and life have been drained out of Christ.
- We have forgotten that Christ's story was dirty. He came into a
dirty story, loved dirty people and saved the dirty. We have forgotten
that we are dirty.
- Community has gone away. People in the church are no longer open,
honest and authentic. Instead we hide behind our Bible Answers and fake
smiles and fake community.
- I think that hope, story, authenticity, vulnerability, love and service
need to be brought back into the Church.
- We need to remember that Christ loved everyone and that is something that
we forget.

Ok, so these are my thoughts, I am still figuring out where I am taking this fully, but I would like to hear your thoughts and opinions. I am not saying that anything I am saying is right or wrong, just where my thoughts are leading. What do you think? What is good about the Church today and what needs to be changed?

Stress

There are some parts of life that I just don't understand. Honestly, there is alot about life that I just don't understand. Right now, though, I just don't understand why everything has to hit at the same time. Why can't trials in life come a little at a time with a nice flow so that you are ready to take things as they come? Why is it that when trials come if feels as if a damn is breaking and everything is hitting from all sides?

I have to be honest right now and admit that I am having a a hard time. I love being here in Washington and I adore the kids that I work with, but I am having a hard time with support raising. I feel stuck. I don't know who else to talk to, I don't know where else to go and I am worried about my finances. It is hard to keep going sometimes when I know that bills have to be paid and I don't always know how it is going to happen. It is hard to decide what to get and what not to get, it is hard wondering if I am going to have enough for next month.

I am also really stressed with school, it is the last week of the semester and I have a paper to write and 2 finals to study for next week. This paper really means alot to me because it is a look at the Church and what needs to change if we are going to reach people in the here and now. This paper is something that I am passionate about, but makes me afraid that I am not going to be able to articulate what I am trying to say. I know that sounds silly, but it creates stress in me.

I am also having a hard time adjusting to not having people to do things with all the time. I always wanted to slow down in life, but now I feel almost lost. I don't have anyone to go see or hang out with. It is an odd feeling, one that I really don't know how to deal with. I have also been thinking alot about people in my past and contemplating talking to them again and this has been messing with my head.

To add more to this, since I have been in Arlington my whole world has been turned upside down in terms of what I think about ministry, how it works, how the church works and sorting through all of this has been a draining process. I feel as if I am at a crossroads and truly have to decide which way is the right way to go and this is hard to figure out.

I'm sorry top just unload so many things right here, but I really want to be honest about who I am and what it going on. I am stressed and don't exactly know what to do with it. It is an interesting time and a learning time, but a hard one at that. I don't know how I should feel or what I should think. I want all the answers and I want everything to make sense. I want to see the big picture and know why I am feeling what I am feeling; why I am going through what I am going through, but I know ultimately that this can't happen. I know ultimately there is a purpose somewhere and it all will come together. I just wish that it could be one at a time instead of everything crashing down at the same time.

Community

I have been thinking a lot lately about community? What does true authentic community look like? What is needed to have an authentic community? Vulnerability, trust, love, faith, hope? I truly believe that deep at the core of every person there is a burning desire for community, acceptance and love. If this is true how do we accomplish this? Is it part of the Church or not? What does it look like? Is there structure? Is it completely organic?

I know that this is a bunch of questions, but I would like to know your thoughts, feelings and ideas. What do you think true community is?

Worship

I have been spending a lot of time this past week thinking about worship. Now when I talk about worship I am talking about the actually worship service at a church, where we stand and sing and pray and listen. I know that worship takes on different forms and we all worship in different ways, but lets focus on the worship service for a while.

Here is the deal, I have been having a hard time with the worship at my church for the last couple of weeks. I don't know if it is the Southern Baptist in me that wants things to have an order or if the uneasiness that I have been feeling is something more. I am wondering when worship stops being worship and becomes a performance and a soapbox? Am I, as an imperfect human even able to make a judgement on that? That is where my problem lies. I feel as if the worship leader goes on and on in more of a show than that of surrender. Inserting sermonete after sermonete between songs and sharing opinions instead of letting it be a time of reflection. It could be me. It could be my problem, it isn't the way I am used to participating in worship and I do understand that, but if it is distracting me is it distracting others as well?

So here is my question...what does worship look like? can we say? Can we limit a leader? I don't know...what do you think?

Thanksgiving

As everyone knows yesterday was Thanksgiving. This was my first Thanksgiving in my 26 years of life that I have been away from family. Honestly, it was strange to not be at my aunt's house listening to my dad, uncle and grandma talk about politics, hearing my other uncle make snide remarks about family, still sitting at the kids table and running away to the movie theater with my cousin. I really missed it. They may seem strange, but I love my family and all the quirks that come with them. Needless to say I woke up yesterday and was sad. I was soon reminded though what we were really celebrating yesterday. Thankfulness.

I am thankful that I get to be here in Washington, one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. I am thankful that God has given me the opportunity to step out of the box and live a life that is completely different than the plans I had for my own life. I am thankful for the amazing people that are in my life. The amazing friends that I have met here in Washington, who have accepted me and loved me as their own without any qualms. I am thankful for my friends back home who are still some of the dearest people in my life. I am thankful for the amazing family that God has blessed me with, who love me and support me even when they don't understand why I do the things I do.

As I ate Thanksgiving dinner last night with Janelle, Dave, Anna and Ethan I realized how thankful I am. How thankful I am for friends like Nell and Dave who are more than friends, they are family. It was an awesome Thanksgiving with people I really love and I am grateful for family, friends, life, beauty, art and everything else that comes along with it. I am thankful for the here and now, the ability to love, hope, grow and be. Even though I may complain or cry, I may wish or dream, I am thankful for all that God does. I am thankful.

Stinkin Cold

I awoke this morning freezing cold. It was 55 degrees in my wonderful trailer and I was fearful to get up and leave the safety of my warm blankets. After I finally got the heater to start working I opened the door to find a frozen landscape in front of me. The entire place was covered with frozen dew. The grass was frozen, the car was frozen and by the time I was done walking my dog, I was frozen. The best part was when I returned from walking my dog I went to take a shower and the waterline to the trailer had frozen. I had no water!!! Finally the family whose house I live at came home and I was able to use their shower, but let's just say I was a little late to work. All this to say, I am adjusting to the cold, but this is really cold. I mean 45 during the day, 45 is a cold night in So Cal. There is the story and here are some pictures of the coldness this morning.

Random Randomness

I have had some random thoughts going through my head the past couple days and just decided to write them down. It ended up sounding pretty good (at least I think so) and I thought that I would share. This was the result of a random brain storm. Please respond on any or all of my questions...I am curious about others also, am I crazy with these thoughts? I don't know, but here goes...

Do you ever wonder how life changes so quickly or where you
would be if you had made different decisions, stood up for things or said
something that you really wanted to say, but were too scared?

Do you ever wonder how you got to the place you are
physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually?

Do you ever wonder what would happen if you were to talk to
someone that you miss terribly or if you were to really express who you
are?

Do you ever wonder why people and things come back into your
life at the strangest times and thoughts won't leave your head?

Do you ever wonder why emotions seem to be stronger than
rational and why your heart seems to always get in the way of your head?

Do you ever wonder why or how or what if?

Do you ever wonder...I do.

Church

Over the past few weeks I have been thinking about Churches, The Church, community and everything that goes along with these words. I have come to realize that I don't know how I feel about church anymore. This is not to say that I don't believe in the greater concept of The Church, but I have realized that I am very frustrated with churches. I think that many of them have lost their focus. They have forgotten about the greater concept of kingdom work and have become consumed by legalism, rules, definitions, buildings, events and money. No longer is the church about love, hope, discipleship and community. It breaks my heart that the church is not open to the broken and hurting people unless the people are willing to conform to their rules, standards and regulations. I mean honestly we have been called to Love, to Love everyone. Christ loved and went to the broken and dirty people. The people that didn't look like everyone else, talk like everyone else and live like everyone else. My heart is broken by this, it makes me sad that we are turning people away because they are different. When did we stop reaching out? When did saving face become the way of the Church?

I believe in the church and I love my church here and back home, but recently I have seen a trend that scares me. Not to say that it hasn't been happening for years, but my eyes have been opened to it and in a time when we claim to be so progressive, multicultural and aware how is it that we are so willing to close our doors and keep things safe, make ourselves look good and forget what we are really hear to do? We are here to offer hope and love to people who don't have it. Things need to change.

Always Ontime

I continue to find it amazing how God knows what we need when we need it. When I got to work this morning I had an email from one of the most amazing women I have ever known. Her email came right when I needed it. I have been discouraged and down the past few days and her email really offered the encouragement needed. This is what it said:

I pray, Jessica, that you will be encouraged, uplifted,
and carried through
this time. I pray your perseverence will lead to
fruit that cannot come
except by this way. I pray that God is getting
glorified in this
weakness. I pray that you know how much we love you
and believe in this
situation. HANG in there. Look up these
verses, but first here is
what my Bible study said today: "If I can
encourage you through my own
real-life pain, I'm telling you straight up-
stay. When you're too weary
and disillusioned to do anything else,
keep staying. God is working out
your faith. He's moving in ways
you can't even dream of. He's got a
comeback plan (though he's never
really behind) So do whatever it takes.
If you can't take the guy next
to you, wear earplugs. Endure the
staleness, Follow . Just don't
leave. Hang in there, you.
Upsets are especially
thrilling. Don't leave before the "upset" in the
game takes
place."

Verses:These are the blessings that accompany
faith,
patience, and perseveance:
Ps. 130:57
Gal. 6:9
Heb.
6:12 Heb. 10:35-36 Jas. 1:3-4 Jas. 5:7-11
Heb.
11:8

I love you. Journal these passages. Your life
is
writing a story right now. Write it down! You will make
it!

I pray that if you are discouraged that these words of encouragement may also help you.

Loneliness

Lonliness, it is an emotion or feeling that continues to amaze me. Not to think that I think it is something that is good, but it continues to hit me and work me at the most inopportune times, the times that really just don't make sense. I find it funny how at a time when I have more people surrounding me with prayer and time, that I feel more lonely. Maybe it is me just missing friends, maybe it is missing those significant relationships and the fact that I am having to build new relationships. Maybe there is something I have to learn. I really don't know. All that I do know is that loneliness keeps attacking and from every direction. I try to anticipate where it is going to come from next and somehow always seem to guess wrong. From the left or the right, from the past or the present I never know and never seem to be prepared. It is a vicious emotion that feels as it is eating you from the inside out and hurts in ways you could never imagine and the worst part is that it is really all in our minds. There is an answer and it is letting go and letting God have control of it, letting him fill the voids, yet it is so hard. Why is it so hard to let go of something that hurts so much? I don't know if we will ever be able to answer that.

Anyone?

I am really wondering if anyone really reads my blog or if I am just writing to myself. That is totally cool, too. I do enjoy writing.

So here is my thought...if you read this please leave a comment and let me know that you are here. That you are reading...that someone is out there.

Thanks

School

I have a little dilemma with school and I am not quite sure what to do. When I was in Southern California I was working on an MAEL (Masters of Educational Leadership) I was informed that if I wanted to go onto higher education (ie my PhD) then I should work on my MDiv (Masters of Divinity). So that was my new plan. THe MDiv requires 81 units while the MAEL is 49 units.

Well, the other day I was asked why I was working on my MDiv if I didn't plan on becoming a pastor. I informed my professor that I wanted to go onto get my PhD. I was then informed that if I wasn't planning on getting a DMin (Doctorate of Ministry) or a PhD in Biblical studies that I didn't need it. So here is the dilemma...I can potentially finish my MAEL, but we don't offer it at my campus, so I would have to travel to Mill Valley in the summer and in January to finish those few classes. I could switch and get a MTS (Masters of Theological Studies) which is also 49 units, or my third option is to double major and get both. If I did both I could use both depending on which way I want to go for my PhD (secular or Christian).

Any thoughts from anyone would be greatly appreciated. Other peoples opinions are always helpful.

Lives Changing

I love to see lives changing and people growing. I just received an email from a dear friend of mine. She was just sharing about her life, what was going on and the experiences she has been having. The amazing things about this friend is that at one time she was in my youth group. She was a freshman who was unsure of herself or anyone else for that matter. It has been an amazing journey over the years with her to see her grow and mature into honestly one of the most beautiful young women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I love watching her, spending time with here, talking to here and learning from her.

She was telling me today of the learning she has gone through in the last week and the transition from one significant place in her life to a new and exciting place. I can't wait to see what is going to come of this new stage, how she is going to be grown and stretched. I can't wait to see all that God is going to do with her and I am grateful that He has given me the opportunity to walk with her, to grow with her and to watch her.

She is truly beautiful and one of my favorite people ever and I consider myself blessed to be on this journey with her.

One of Those Days

So today is just one of those days where nothing seems to work out the way you would like it to. I mean seriously since I woke up this morning, I couldn't find the close I wanted to wear, I had to take care of the kids, parents didn't come home when they needed to, I was late to work, hit something in the yard when I was leaving this morning...it was crazy and really left me in a bad mood. I felt bitter, annoyed and really just not a happy person this morning. I began to think about what would make life better, moving into my place? Having more money? I have come to realize though, that life isn't going to be perfect, we are going to have those bad days and we are going to have good days. In all I have to let go and let God be in control. Alright, here I go...

The Office

The Office is my favorite show...seriously it is the funniest show ever. I am so excited that it is on tonight that I can't even stand it. I just wanted to share in my excitement.

Oh, just another awesome thing...Scrubs starts again next week. That show is hilarious. I am really sad thought that this is the last season.

Oh and one more thing, if anyone is looking for another hilarious show. Check out Chuck on Monday nights. It is really funny. He works at Buy More and for the Nerd Herd. It is so funny!!!

Officially Unofficial

Well it is official, unofficially. I am new "Youth Leader" at Crossroads Fellowship Church in Arlington, WA. I have been attending there for about a month and a half and have been helping with their newly formed youth ministry. The Pastor was running everything in the church (it is a small church plant) so offered my services. I was helping anyway, so it really wasn't a big deal to step into a leadership role. So I am in charge, but we are keeping it on the DL (down low) for a few months to see how things go and because I am still new to the church. So there it is I am officially Unofficial.

Stability

Yesterday afternoon I was having a conversation with one of my friends back home in California. We were talking about his wedding that is rapidly approaching (November 11th) and somehow got on the conversation of my singleness.(It always seems to come up when I am talking to him) I was informed that I am single because of the fact that guys my age and older are looking for stability and I don't have any to offer. I don't have a job that makes great money and I am not looking to get married and have kids tomorrow. I found this comment to be very interesting. Is there really something wrong, first of all, with me being 25 and single? And do I really have no stability to offer? Is that really what guys my age are looking for?

I was informed that that is really the only thing that is wrong with me, but I am left wondering if that is really something that is "wrong with me"? What about the fact that I am doing the work that fits me? That I am pursuing the passions that God has given me? That I am following the talents that God has given me? Do those count? I don't know... Any thoughts?

Coincidence?

Do you ever have thigs happen in life that make you wonder if they are really just a coincidence or if there could actually be some real meaning behind them? I have had that happen this week. Not going to go into detail, but it is interesting how things can come up that make us question the true intention behind them.

That is my random thought for the day...thank you.

Defeat?

For the past few days there has been this haunting feeling of defeat hovering around me. I feel as if I am stuck I an trying so hard to push my way through, but something is pushing back and not allowing me to cross the line. It is like when you are watching football practice and they run and hit the pad with all their might, but it really doesn't go anywhere. That is where I am. I have been hitting and running and hitting some more, but I am becoming tired. My body is becoming weak and my hits seem to be making less of an impact.

The interesting thing is that even though I feel tired, worn out and defeated I don't feel like I can stop. I feel as if I must keep going, I know that there is something better on the other side. I know that there is a reason and a purpose.

Encouragement

I received an email from a friend yesterday. She has always been an amazing encourager and mentor in my life. This is what it said:

"It is tough being a grown up, and I love how God applies just enough pressure to make us depend on Him and not cry out to anyone or anything less than Him. Remember how shepherds would break the legs of the lamb that were independent so they were completely disabled. Then He would carry them around his neck until they healed. While the shepherd was carrying the lamb, the lamb grew very accustomed to hearing the shepherd's voice and once through the healing time, the lamb had become so dependent on the shepherd that he never once again wanted his independence and followed closely the rest of his life because he knew and loved the voice of the shepherd.
Got dependence?
I love you and just keep hanging around your shepherd's heart and neck. He'll carry you through and in the meantime grow very
accustomed to His voice.

Love you."

It is truly amazing to me how God works through other people, their love and their words. He knew where I was, what was going on and what I needed. I am so grateful for the amazing people the God has placed in my life and the impact that they have even from so far away.

She is so right also, it is interesting how God knows when we need to be hanging around his neck, learning to be completely dependent on him and nobody else. He is teaching me and I am learning, learning His voice in a new, distinct and powerful way.

Procastination

So I have to admit that I am the worst procrastinator in the world. I have been dreading doing my Hebrew homework this week. It is now Sunday afternoon and I am still trying to find other things to do besides my homework. I know I am a super slacker, but I feel like this kid when I do it.

Beginnings of something good....

Some awesome things have been happening around Arlington and I am super excited. The one thing that I am really excited about the fact that I am really starting to grow some deep relationships with some of the girls here. They come into the office almost every day after school and are really excited to hang out, talk and to really be friends. This is super exciting because I am beginning to see God working here. I am seeing a sparkle in their eyes that they didn't have when I first met them. They are excited and I can't wait to learn and grow with them. God is really at work here and I can't wait until I am able to spend more time with them. I am also excited about some other girls that have recently come into my life and that are a little more reluctant, but definitely in need of someone to love them. It is going to be exciting to see what happens and how God works.

Friday Night

I have to say that my Friday night was absolutely amazing!!!! ok not really. It seems that I have gotten old. I am 25 years old and my Friday night highlight consisted of walking my dog around the neighborhood and then playing a board game. It was fun, but I think that I may need to make some more friends...I thought that I still had a few more years of fun and exciting Friday nights. Oh, well it was still a good time.

Bad Week

Ok, so this week had to be one of the worst weeks of my life. I know it isn't THE worst because I can name a few right now that have been worse, but this really tops the charts. Let's start at the beginning of the week:

Sunday- I took about 7 Jr high boys Geo Cashing. It was fun, but it was pouring rain most of the time, and Jr. High boys don't know how to walk and after 4 miles they were walking sooooooo slow. In the middle of our excursion I learned that there is a facility for level 5 sex offenders right across the street from the secluded foresty path we were walking down. Needless to say I was not excited about that. After that I ended up talking to the pastor and his wife for about three hours. This wasn't bad except for the fact that I didn't get home until 9:30pm, still had to finish homework and had to be up at 3:30am to leave for school on Monday.

Monday- 3:30am, still pouring rain. I left for my 3 hour drive to Vancouver, WA for school at about 4:45am. About an hour into my trip I see police lights flashing behind me. This sucks, it isn't like I haven't been pulled over twice since I left California. This time I was only going 65mph though. That is what really sucks. The police officer proceeds to get my info and tell me about the safety on the road and if everyone else breaks the law am I going to also. I began to start crying like a little baby. Like not kinda crying totally can't breathe like a little kid. He comes back and tells me that it was my lucky day because his computer system was down. God is Good!!! I was really excited about that!!! Anyway, I continued my drive and ended up 1/2 hour late to class. Hebrew class, I don't know what is going on as it is, do 1/2 and hour late really makes things worse. The rest of Monday was ok except for the seriously bad headache I had for the rest of the day.

Tuesday- Again pouring rain. I got to work late because someone decided to clean the bathroom before I got in the shower, so I had to wait. Then we had a Steering Committee meeting. Not bad, I got some free soup. Free food is always good. The rest of the day was a blur, Bible study and WalMart at midnight because I was leaving for a four day trip and ran out of hair gel. (side note: I really despise WalMart).

Wednesday- Good start to the day...the rain stopped!!! Did lots of laundry and packed to go to the Staff Retreat and then off to Idaho. The plan was to return on Saturday. We left and started the trip, the staff retreat was going well until I got the phone call. My dog had bit my best friends daughter. Great, fantastic, great timing. Well, she was ok and we decided that things would be ok until he went after her little boy. Now what? I seriously have the nicest dog ever. He freaked I guess with me being gone and didn't know what to do. Needless to say this lead to trying to figure out what to do and the conclusion that Idaho wasn't going to happen. I was seriously bummed about that.

Thursday- The end of the Staff Retreat was good, but oh, it started to rain again. We finished up, came home and I took care of my dog. He was freaked out. I felt really bad for him.

Friday- Well the decision for Eli (my dog) was to take him to my friends house during the day and then take him home with me at night. Kinda like a dog sitter. So we had doggie meet and greet time. Since he has two other dogs. That went well and then I went to work, which was fine. Then on the way home hit all the traffic anyone could hit. Needless to say it took me 2 and a half hours to get home. That was just fantastic.

That was my week. It was very emotionally draining. Needless to say I think that Eli and I are ready to have some space. I have been sooooo grateful for my best friend and her husband for all of their hospitality and for letting me stay with them, but I think that I am ready. I hope that this week is a little better. I am ready for it to be better.

Homework

I am done with homework. I am tired of looking at it, I am tried of doing it. I want to go ride my bike and be free, but there is still more homework to do. That Sucks!!!

Grrrrrr.....

So, for the past few days it seems like everyone (including me) is in a horrible mood, stressed beyond belief and about ready to kill everyone that they come in contact with. It is ridiculous how attacks come from every direction and when that happens we don't know how to respond. I think that everyone in my house needs three days alone...including the kids. We all need something to rejuvenate us and calm us down. We tried ice cream (usually works for calming nerves) it just made us think about how fat it is going to make us. Tried walking, just made us more tired; tried talking, we just get frustrated when others don't understand. It is a sad time and there is definitely something trying to bring us all down...let me tell you.

So all that I have to say now is Grrrrr....that is how I feel. Grrrr......

Hebrew

Tomorrow is my first Hebrew test. I just want to confess to everyone that I am terrified. This is not coming easily to me and I am not great at memorizing things. Needless to say, I have been studying and am going to continue studying, but I don't know how much good it is really going to do.

Thoughts on Volunteers

Over the past couple of weeks we have been talking about how to get our volunteers more involved in our ministry. We have been throwing ideas around and talking about how to make them feel more comfortable with each other and with the kids. How do we make our volunteers feel more wanted and needed? How do we get them to be more involved with the students than just being chaperons? Here are a few of our thought, or what we are thinking of doing.

Volunteer Meetings
We have decided to have monthly volunteer meetings. What do these meetings look like? Well, we are thinking of more of a community time, not a teaching time. I think so many times when we are thinking of volunteers we think that we need to train them in how to handle kids, what to say in situations and and how to be a part of their world. People know how to relate to other people. We don't need to train them all the time. I think that making the volunteers feel like a wanted group of people will hopefully make them feel more like coming around and spending time with the students. Creating a tight knit group of people that know each other and care about each other is the key.

I think that also in these meetings we need to make sure that our volunteers realize that they are capable. They are capable of relating to the students just as much as we, the staff, are. We need to make sure that they realize that as long as they are real with the students the students will be real with them.

These are just some random thoughts. What do you think? Any thoughts on volunteers?

Microtrends

I ran across a link this morning to an article dealing with the changing microtrends in America. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20630522/site/newsweek/
I found it very interesting, yet I am left wondering if it is completely accurate and if it is what is the impact on my life and the lives of the students in my ministry.

The article is actually an overview of a book entitled "microtrends" by Mark Penn. The trends that I found to me most interesting are trends such as mothers in their mid thirties being the largest group of video game addicts, the resurgence of knitting among teens and the fact that most people who are tattooing themselves these days are upper and middle class. Tattoos are no longer for the inmates and deadbeats. Because of these changing trends in America the face and shape of America is changing. Kids are over the video games and are trying to find new things to do, people in general are reinventing themselves. Americans today are no longer willing to be put into boxes, they are stepping out and trying new things. Why is this happening? What has caused this change in our culture, society and way of life?

I think that it really all boils down to a statement that Penn made regarding the rise in left handedness in America. He says that the rise in left handedness has occurred because of the fact that we are allowing student to be who they are. We are no longer forcing them to be right handed. We are no longer forcing them to always conform to the rules, we are allowing more freedom.

"The result, writes Penn, is a more permissive culture. “A society that tolerates people working with different hands is also likely to tolerate a lot of other freedoms.”

Looking at our culture over the past few years we have become more permissive and now "tolerate a lot of other freedoms", but at what cost? What has this tolerant culture done to us and our kids. What is the result of tolerance on Society at large?

I am not saying that we shouldn't be loving and accepting of others, but at what point do we stand up and say,"that is enough". I think that the line has become blurred. The line of acceptance and non acceptance is no longer visible and it is affecting not only us, but the youth and children of today. They are confused and are looking for definition in their lives. The growing acceptance of the past few decades has caused our youth to actually go the other way. We have seen a resurgence of the past with people in the mid to early twenties. They have been going back to traditional mindsets of family and society. Not to say that this is the right way to go, but a balance needs to be found. We need to decide where the line is, our kids need definition and we need to help.

Down for the Count

Waking up this morning I thought that I was down for the count. I woke up stressed, stressed about ministry, family, life, work and finances. I felt lost, confused and completely done. I was ready to throw in the towel, call it a day and get in the car and go home. All the way back to California where things seemed alot easier. Then I had a a talk with a friend. He made me think. When are things ever easy if they are what we are really suposed to do? He made me realize that God wouldn't bring me here and then leave me, that he wouldn't just throw me out here and then say, have a nice day. There is a reason and He will provide. Sometimes we have to withstand the forces of things we don't understand that are trying to steer us in a direction other than where we should be going. There are many things that don't want me here, don't want Youth Dynamics to work here in Arlington, that don't want students reached for God and they will do whatever it takes to stop us. Today I am standing up against it knowing that I have been called here and that God is leading. I am no longer in control I am letting Go and holding on for the ride.