Merry Christmas!!! Let's remember the reason for this day, the real reason. Not presents or food, not even family or friends. Let's really remember the Life, Hope and Majesty that needs to be remembered on this day. So many times we forget, so let's remember, rejoice and reflect.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Let it Snow
It's snowing here in Arlington and it doesn't look like it is going to stop any time soon. I decided to go to work this morning and all that I can say is that I am glad that I made it and I'm glad that I made it home. I know that there are people who drive in snow all the time that is alot worse than what we have here, but being a girl from Orange County driving in the snow is not my forte. I am learning though and this year I seem to be liking the snow alot more than I did last year. My dog, Eli, thinks that snow is the greatest thing ever!!!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Hot, Hot, Hot
While I was back in California last week for my Grandpa's funeral, some of our volunteers here in Arlington has a habanero pepper eating contest. I watched this and laughed so hard that I was crying. The best part was the picture that was sent to me in California while at the funeral of Kenny crying from the pain of the pepper. This is awesome!!!!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
One Down
Yesterday was an interesting day. Brunch with the family wasn't as awkward as I thought, but it is interesting seeing family that you haven't seen in over 10 years. My cousins have gotten married and had kids and it s just weird. Anyway it was great to hang out for the day with my cousins who are now 40 or around there. It is so weird to me that they are that old. Not that that is old, it is just out of the context that I had for them. My aunts and uncles never seem to change and it is just slightly weird trying to explain life for the last 10 years. It was good though.
I still don't understand why we have viewings. What is the point really? I felt bad thought because nobody came, so we sat there and waited for 4 hours until it was time to go home. I have to admit that I didn't even go into the room with the body. There is something about that that just doesn't seem right to. Why do we go in and look at a dead body and that gives us closure? I think that I can have closure on my own thanks. The sad thing is that nobody in my family is really upset. After talking to people I have come to realize that my whole family thinks that my grandpa was a little off and not always the nicest man in the world. I'm glad that is wasn't just me or my family, but everyone. This is still interesting because my grandpa had a strange obsession with me and everyone keeps commenting on it. It wasn't my fault. I'll tell you that right now. I never asked for my grandpa to try to kidnap me or follow me home from school.
Anyway, today is the funeral. I'm afraid that nobody is going to be there for that either. So, it is funeral, graveside service and family gathering afterword. We have to go through pictures and deal with other things, and because my mom isn't here I have to take her spot in responsibility. It is a little weird. Anyway, I just really can't wait to go home. It has been good to see family, but I am ready to be back to my life and this is funny to say, but the place that I have grown to love in Arlington.
So today I am off to a funeral and I feel bad because I am not sad and crying or anything else. I feel bed because I don't have anything to say about how great of a grandpa he was. I more feel a sense of relief that he isn't going to show up at my house or at work. That I am not looking on street corners for him. It sounds bad, but I am a little happy. I know it sounds a little demented, but I never claimed to be normal. I just hope that I don't upset people with my lack of emotion, but then nobody else seems to be torn up either. I think everyone feels a sense of relief. I know it is weird, but my family is really messed up. Well, here goes another day of weirdness. Then tomorrow I get to go home to the freezing cold of Arlington.
I still don't understand why we have viewings. What is the point really? I felt bad thought because nobody came, so we sat there and waited for 4 hours until it was time to go home. I have to admit that I didn't even go into the room with the body. There is something about that that just doesn't seem right to. Why do we go in and look at a dead body and that gives us closure? I think that I can have closure on my own thanks. The sad thing is that nobody in my family is really upset. After talking to people I have come to realize that my whole family thinks that my grandpa was a little off and not always the nicest man in the world. I'm glad that is wasn't just me or my family, but everyone. This is still interesting because my grandpa had a strange obsession with me and everyone keeps commenting on it. It wasn't my fault. I'll tell you that right now. I never asked for my grandpa to try to kidnap me or follow me home from school.
Anyway, today is the funeral. I'm afraid that nobody is going to be there for that either. So, it is funeral, graveside service and family gathering afterword. We have to go through pictures and deal with other things, and because my mom isn't here I have to take her spot in responsibility. It is a little weird. Anyway, I just really can't wait to go home. It has been good to see family, but I am ready to be back to my life and this is funny to say, but the place that I have grown to love in Arlington.
So today I am off to a funeral and I feel bad because I am not sad and crying or anything else. I feel bed because I don't have anything to say about how great of a grandpa he was. I more feel a sense of relief that he isn't going to show up at my house or at work. That I am not looking on street corners for him. It sounds bad, but I am a little happy. I know it sounds a little demented, but I never claimed to be normal. I just hope that I don't upset people with my lack of emotion, but then nobody else seems to be torn up either. I think everyone feels a sense of relief. I know it is weird, but my family is really messed up. Well, here goes another day of weirdness. Then tomorrow I get to go home to the freezing cold of Arlington.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Interesting Times
Well this week I am home in Orange County for my grandfather's funeral. He passed away suddenly last Wednesday morning. Since the phone call last Thursday morning life has bee very interesting. Let me give you a little background on the situation. My family doesn't really talk to my mom, or she doesn't talk to them, because of this I have been out of contact with this side of my family for the last 10 years. I have talked to them on and off over this time, but nothing more than "Hi, I live in Washington." I did talk to my grandpa, but lost contact with him about 6 months ago. He stayed on my support team, but I couldn't find him. Come to find out in this time he had moved from Iowa back to California. Who knew?
Anyway, these past few days have somehow made the the liaison between my mother and the rest of the family. This has not been a good situation. My mom and sister, for their own reasons, aren't coming to the funeral which leaves me alone with these people that I barely know. This morning I am off to brunch with the family. (I didn't even know that brunch was a real thing) This is going to be an awkward couple of days. I have to spend time and socialize with people who are my family, but I really don't have the first clue as to who they are as people. I have to go to my grandfather's funeral and am honestly not a grieved as I feel I should be. I also have to deal with the will crap. All that I know about this is that I don't want to be in the middle of a bad situation with my mom and the rest of the family. Needless to say I have very mixed feelings about the next few days. I am excited to hopefully develop relationships with my family, I am sad that my grandpa is gone, I am confused about everything and nervous to step into an unknown situation. Please be praying that everything goes well.
Anyway, these past few days have somehow made the the liaison between my mother and the rest of the family. This has not been a good situation. My mom and sister, for their own reasons, aren't coming to the funeral which leaves me alone with these people that I barely know. This morning I am off to brunch with the family. (I didn't even know that brunch was a real thing) This is going to be an awkward couple of days. I have to spend time and socialize with people who are my family, but I really don't have the first clue as to who they are as people. I have to go to my grandfather's funeral and am honestly not a grieved as I feel I should be. I also have to deal with the will crap. All that I know about this is that I don't want to be in the middle of a bad situation with my mom and the rest of the family. Needless to say I have very mixed feelings about the next few days. I am excited to hopefully develop relationships with my family, I am sad that my grandpa is gone, I am confused about everything and nervous to step into an unknown situation. Please be praying that everything goes well.
Monday, December 08, 2008
How
Alright, so this might sound cryptic, but I will try to be as open as I can without exposing too much. I want to tell someone something. How I really feel, but I have come to realize that the social structures that we have would make that very awkward. We are already awkward as it is and saying this would either lead to more awkwardness or it could lead to potential goodness. I don't know. I always thought that by the time I was 27 I wouldn't feel so awkward about telling people my feelings on things. Oh well, I don't know what to do or if I will ever figure it out. IF anyone has any suggestions let me know.
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